Jason Mraz – Living In The Moment
thank you, @laurenw79. perfect song!
Wow, guys. Can you believe it? I am actually writing again and it feels really good. I would like to say, “Oh, not much has changed,” but really, so much has changed. I’m not 17 anymore. I’m 21 now. In two weeks I’ll be an official senior in college and my baby girl is almost three-and-a-half years old. So, is it funny that I do not know where to begin?
Wow, oh wow. Let’s see, in my last post, I was terribly depressed and unhappy and probably on some anti-depressant medicine that really should have been anti-anxiety that didn’t work, at all. Damn, what a drama queen I was. I guess I still am a drama queen at times, but I’m much happier these days. I don’t even want to read the rest of that post. Yeah, I still miss Callie a lot and most days I wish things were different but there is nothing I can do about that but watch her grow and enjoy the time that I fortunately have with her.
Now, where do I start? I guess I already started…but, not really. Um, I am still in school. I am a junior at the University of North Texas. Yay. I really just want to graduate. In two weeks, assuming I pass everything, haha, I will be a senior. I am a news journalism major (yuck, considering they have you writing about boring news) concentration in photojournalism and a minor in marketing. Only two semesters left. That’s about eight months of class time. I can do this…slowly but surely.
That’s another thing, though. I really want to take a break to be with Justin. Yes, we are still together and it’s been over a year. But, taking a break from school…stupid, right? No, not to me. I don’t think I’d ever do it, but here’s the deal. Justin’s step-brother-in-law helped him get a new job in Louisiana “snubbing.” He’s in the oil business and what that means is he’s gone two to three weeks out of the month. And, what makes it worse is that he actually had to move to Louisiana indefinitely. So, we packed up, sold all of our furniture, and I moved back into my moms to save for school. Yikes. Just kidding.
Anyway, J will be coming back eventually because he got hired for offshore work, but not for a while. Let’s just say he signed his lease for a year back in February. He has to stay to work in the shop and learn things (?) and make extra money.
It is such a great opportunity but I’ve never really done a long distance relationship. It’s even harder when he is offshore and works 12-13 hour days, everyday, and I only get to talk to him a little bit at the end of the night and sometimes it makes me so sad. And this is for roughly three weeks at a time. I’m sure I’ll get used to it, but going from living together and falling asleep with each other every night and waking up next to each other every morning to seeing each other a weekend out of every month is hard. It would be really different if he were to move home and just leave offshore. But, he can’t do that right now.
He says that he is doing this for us, which honestly means a lot because I feel like I’ve never had anyone care so much for me or do so much for me, honestly. He’s really my best friend and things just fell into place. I honestly thought we would never get back together after we broke up in 2009 and when Callie was born, and I was perfectly OK with that, but we just came together. That’s what makes me think that if things are meant to be, then they will just…be. And things happen when you least expect it. He is so hard working and I am so proud of him. We have been through so much together and at times, I thought we weren’t going to last, but we have always made it through. Him being gone really put things into perspective for us. We don’t take advantage of the time we have together and I think that we really appreciate each other more. Call it stupid, but I don’t know what I would do without him in my life. He supports me and encourages my dreams and future. I am pretty sure this is it, for me at least. And we just want to do things right this time.
Now, the part most of you are probably anticipating. I have already written about Justin meeting Callie for the first time. We have seen her twice since then, and I have seen her one other time. She is three-years-old now and amazing as can be. She is so smart, as I always say. She is getting more and more beautiful every single day and nothing warms my heart more than to hear her say, “I love you too much.”
She is such a happy and bubbly little girl. She is beautiful and she knows it. “Take a picture of me doing this. I’m so pretty,” she says. Those bright blue eyes can charm anybody. I’ll post some photos at the bottom of this entry.
As for me, I am doing great. I’m almost done with my third to last semester of school. I moved back into my mom’s to save for school and wait on my love. It’s good. It was rough at first, trying to find a place to go, since I didn’t want to move back home, but it’s really for the best right now.
In the meantime, I have been anticipating the last day of school and working a little bit on the weekends serving. I have also been working out everyday and eating clean and trying to live a healthier lifestyle. I do Jillian Michaels’ program the 30 Day Shred, and it is killing me!
I am also writing now for Examiner.com and Gather.com which is honestly a great opportunity for me to get my writing out there and started. I am also kind of talking to another HUGE company, which I am totally excited about, but that is for another day.
J comes home in about two weeks or so, so I am completely looking forward to spending some time with him over the summer. We were planning to see Callie and take a couple of vacations, but we decided to just go see Callie spend all of our money and time on her, and maybe spend a couple days out on South Padre Island. I’m 21 now. Ha! It will be fun! We might even camp out on the beach! I’m scared!! I can’t wait for summer though!
I don’t really know what else to say. My life is pretty boring at this point. But, I’m happy and that is what counts. : )
Until next time, yall!
Twitter – @ashleyslzr
The photos get a bit older as you scroll