I want to hear YOUR stories!

Hey everyone!

This will be short and sweet.  I have shared my story and I believe yours is just as important, so now I want to hear from YOU and feature you on my blog.  I will be reading comments, taking messages via my Facebook page and Twitter and selecting the very first person (or people) to feature!  You can also send me a tweet or leave a comment with your contact information as to why you think your story should be heard! We will work together to create a beautiful post just for you. This could be a perfect way to be heard and say everything you’ve always wanted to.  You can remain anonymous as well, if you’d like.  I look forward to hearing from you!!!

Relationships, new job and real life

I’m sorry, guys.

I can’t believe I let it hit one month before I did another blog post.  I said I was going to be more consistent, right?  I really want to pick up writing again, because I love sharing my happiness on my good days and it helps to let the feelings pour out on my bad days.

Well, as of right now, I am a little over 17 weeks along (the photo above is of my 16 week belly). I have yet to really feel the baby completely move.  He seemed so active in the 13 week sonogram and I don’t remember “seeing” Callie move that much, but I definitely felt her.  Oh well.  He is healthy and has a strong little heartbeat going.

I think it’s amazing that now he can hear sounds and voices, including my heartbeat. Ahhh.  I love him so much already, but we have yet to pick out a name.  We have a few choices, but the ones that have stuck out to us the most are Phoenix, Asher and Levi (compliments of Callie, who is still very excited to be welcoming a little brother.) I think it’s going to be Phoenix Levi, but things could change!

As far as everything else goes, it has been a little rough for my uncertainty of the future drives me nuts.  Last you really heard from me, I had just graduated college.  Shortly after, real life set in and that included student loan debt.  I don’t have more than the average student (around 35k), but 15,000 of that was from my one semester in New York and the rest is interest! See, at the time I wasn’t very savvy about all that stuff and I let it accrue, accrue, accrue.  My point is that Justin and I have always jumped into moving in together and are used to doing things completely, backwards, so I felt the best decision was to move out.  I ended up moving home to pay my debts and save some money.  Little did I know I would end up getting pregnant with little man (whoopsies, backwards again) so we are a little bit in limbo about what we are going to do and it stresses me out.  But, would I be Ashley if I didn’t stress out? Just kidding.

I know my last statement will incur some judgment.  I have seen the comments throughout the Web and some of them hold truth, while others are straight cruel.  Yes, we haven’t always made the best of choices, but what matters is what we are doing now to make sure we do things correctly.  God has been ever so gracious as to bless us with a baby boy and by giving us a second chance to redeem ourselves, baby or not. We are actively working on ourselves, our relationship with the Lord and our relationship as one.  The older I get, the more I realize that relationships are hard work and that you can’t jump up and leave when it does get challenging.  As wrong and selfish as I am, I have realized that relationships will bring out sides of you that you never knew you had or that you thought you had overcome and stored away “forever.” It’s how you STOP, pray and handle the situation that will bring you closer to God and make you more like Him.  A relationship can be the most rewarding part of your life, if you let it be. But like I said, I’m working on it and being patient with the other person is a must.

However, it is my lack of patience that kills me in all ways – with other people (relationships as described above) and with my future.  I did rush into applying and accepting a new job and kind of missing my old one.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m really excited, but it has made me realize that jumping into things or making hasty decisions has really added unneeded stress to my life.  I just have to keep my faith that everything WILL work out.  It always has. It always does.  I still have my great days and I still have plenty of bad days, too, but I am learning and I am growing every day. : )

Anyway, here are some photos.  Justin and I at the Blink-182 “Rock Show” and my 14 week belly.

I also started drinking Shakeology again.  It’s amazing and really helped me get healthy, boost my metabolism and build some muscle back in the day.  I went through a lot in 2015 (story for a different day), so I cancelled, but now, with doctor approval, I am back on it and so excited! Check out my BeachBody page here and let me know if you have any questions or are interested in ordering so I can get you a hefty discount! (They have a new maternity program that I’m psyched about, too ; ) )

Also, if you’re interested in my experience with MTV as well as a pregnancy/adoption through the eyes of a 17-year-old go ahead and order my book, Bittersweet Blessing as a hardcopy or Kindle version. I do hope to write another book one day as an adult for adults, but this would also be a great gift to give your young ones so they can take a glimpse into a teenage pregnancy told first-person.

Oh, and don’t forget to follow me on Instagram and Twitter!

Until next time…

Leave comments below on what you’d like to hear more about!

13724818_281635658865525_1088811016163578330_o13690952_280237419005349_7656932668077657869_o

It’s been two years

Wow.

It’s been two years.  So, I was 22 when I last wrote.  Do you know how much someone changes from 22 to 24?  I got busy, stopped writing and I guess I just want to do a quick update. Plus, writing has always been therapeutic to me and helps me wind down for the night.

Well, where do I start? I am 24 going on 25.  When I look back at my posts, I feel like such a train-wreck and I’m sure most of you will agree.  Not saying, I’m much more sane now, hehe, but I really didn’t have it together.  Then again, going through something traumatic like that at such a young age, can definitely change a person and not always for the better.  It is all what you make of it.  I got pregnat at 17 and now, looking at 17-year-olds (my sister is now 18), they are babies to me! And, I thought I “knew it all.”  Who was I kidding? I can’t go back, but I have learned so much through the years.

Anyway, I am no longer 16 and Pregnant but 24, pregnant and in the midst of my career.  I started my career in sales at State Farm about 2 years ago and am currently up for a promotion in the Agency and Marketing department!  It’s just a matter of days before I find out if I got the job or not!

And, yes! It’s true! Justin and I are pregnant again and through the Harmony test, we discovered we are having a BABY BOY! I am due January 28 and about 12 weeks and some days along.  We are scared, overjoyed, ecstatic and mixed with emotions.   Since, this is supposed to be a “quick update” I won’t get too in-depth, but everything is healthy.  I’m healthy, baby is healthy, but Justin and I are both feeling a little guilty about the situation with Callie, even though she is doing fantabulous (I will get into that later).

How will we all tell her? How will she take the news? Will she resent us? Is it wrong of us to bring another child into the world? We asked God for a boy and I feel it was truly meant to be for Callie’s sake.  I know it will all work out though and God has proven to come through – even in the darkest of times.

Now, let me clear the air on some things, that I have seen posted online.  Yes, I had a miscarriage in early 2014, which is why we waited so long to announce.  Yes, afterwards I opened up about what I thought was an “alcohol problem.”  Getting pregnant at 17 and going through the adoption really created severe anxiety in me, so cut me some slack. I was a teenager/young adult.  I was not an alcoholic.  I did some stupid things while drunk, but who hasn’t? Who has also done stupid things while sober? Me and probably you. 🙂 Enough on that…

Let’s get back to Callie!!! She’s the light of my life – Six and a Kindergarten graduate! She is a bike riding, video game/Pokemon Go playing, witty, intelligent, intuitive, brilliant amazing little girl.  She adores Justin so much, so sometimes I feel put on the back-burner, hahah, but I love it that way.  They have such a great relationship, but she loves her “mama,” too.  She’s ridiculously artistic and way too smart for her own good.  I don’t know what else to say about her except we see her as much as we can and soak it all up while we’re there.

Now, as for me and Justin. We are doing great.  The older I get, the more I realize relationships simply take work and were designed/created specifically for certain reasons, so, if you work at it, the more rewarding it is.  We have grown to realize, you can’t just run away.  We are in a premarital class at the local church and are going to begin a mentoring program.  I feel it’s something everyone should do, no matter how “perfect” your relationship is.  At least we are happy and no doubt the love is there.  After what we’ve been through the past 7 years, I have prayed and talked to trusted adults and finally just turned everything to God.  (i’m sorry it took so long…) So far, it has more than proven to work.  This is also for all aspects of life, not just us.

My faith grew with Callie and it is growing with this new baby.  I am determined to be the best mom I can be and still show Callie that I am here and still continue to do everything I do for her.  I am trying my best, learning every day and am so excited for the future.

I could have gone into, so much more detail (because there is so much more), but we can save that for another blog post. 😉

I am growing every day and working on my happiness.  Thank you all who have supported me the past 7 years.  Thank you Jesus and I am truly blessed.

Phew. That felt good. Quick update? Never.

Here are a few updated pics. For more visit my instagram.

Screen Shot 2016-07-19 at 1.04.13 AMScreen Shot 2016-07-19 at 1.03.07 AMScreen Shot 2016-07-19 at 1.04.34 AMScreen Shot 2016-07-19 at 1.03.46 AMScreen Shot 2016-07-19 at 1.04.00 AMScreen Shot 2016-06-21 at 4.08.52 PMScreen Shot 2016-07-19 at 1.05.43 AM