It’s been two years

Wow.

It’s been two years.  So, I was 22 when I last wrote.  Do you know how much someone changes from 22 to 24?  I got busy, stopped writing and I guess I just want to do a quick update. Plus, writing has always been therapeutic to me and helps me wind down for the night.

Well, where do I start? I am 24 going on 25.  When I look back at my posts, I feel like such a train-wreck and I’m sure most of you will agree.  Not saying, I’m much more sane now, hehe, but I really didn’t have it together.  Then again, going through something traumatic like that at such a young age, can definitely change a person and not always for the better.  It is all what you make of it.  I got pregnat at 17 and now, looking at 17-year-olds (my sister is now 18), they are babies to me! And, I thought I “knew it all.”  Who was I kidding? I can’t go back, but I have learned so much through the years.

Anyway, I am no longer 16 and Pregnant but 24, pregnant and in the midst of my career.  I started my career in sales at State Farm about 2 years ago and am currently up for a promotion in the Agency and Marketing department!  It’s just a matter of days before I find out if I got the job or not!

And, yes! It’s true! Justin and I are pregnant again and through the Harmony test, we discovered we are having a BABY BOY! I am due January 28 and about 12 weeks and some days along.  We are scared, overjoyed, ecstatic and mixed with emotions.   Since, this is supposed to be a “quick update” I won’t get too in-depth, but everything is healthy.  I’m healthy, baby is healthy, but Justin and I are both feeling a little guilty about the situation with Callie, even though she is doing fantabulous (I will get into that later).

How will we all tell her? How will she take the news? Will she resent us? Is it wrong of us to bring another child into the world? We asked God for a boy and I feel it was truly meant to be for Callie’s sake.  I know it will all work out though and God has proven to come through – even in the darkest of times.

Now, let me clear the air on some things, that I have seen posted online.  Yes, I had a miscarriage in early 2014, which is why we waited so long to announce.  Yes, afterwards I opened up about what I thought was an “alcohol problem.”  Getting pregnant at 17 and going through the adoption really created severe anxiety in me, so cut me some slack. I was a teenager/young adult.  I was not an alcoholic.  I did some stupid things while drunk, but who hasn’t? Who has also done stupid things while sober? Me and probably you. 🙂 Enough on that…

Let’s get back to Callie!!! She’s the light of my life – Six and a Kindergarten graduate! She is a bike riding, video game/Pokemon Go playing, witty, intelligent, intuitive, brilliant amazing little girl.  She adores Justin so much, so sometimes I feel put on the back-burner, hahah, but I love it that way.  They have such a great relationship, but she loves her “mama,” too.  She’s ridiculously artistic and way too smart for her own good.  I don’t know what else to say about her except we see her as much as we can and soak it all up while we’re there.

Now, as for me and Justin. We are doing great.  The older I get, the more I realize relationships simply take work and were designed/created specifically for certain reasons, so, if you work at it, the more rewarding it is.  We have grown to realize, you can’t just run away.  We are in a premarital class at the local church and are going to begin a mentoring program.  I feel it’s something everyone should do, no matter how “perfect” your relationship is.  At least we are happy and no doubt the love is there.  After what we’ve been through the past 7 years, I have prayed and talked to trusted adults and finally just turned everything to God.  (i’m sorry it took so long…) So far, it has more than proven to work.  This is also for all aspects of life, not just us.

My faith grew with Callie and it is growing with this new baby.  I am determined to be the best mom I can be and still show Callie that I am here and still continue to do everything I do for her.  I am trying my best, learning every day and am so excited for the future.

I could have gone into, so much more detail (because there is so much more), but we can save that for another blog post. 😉

I am growing every day and working on my happiness.  Thank you all who have supported me the past 7 years.  Thank you Jesus and I am truly blessed.

Phew. That felt good. Quick update? Never.

Here are a few updated pics. For more visit my instagram.

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1 thought on “It’s been two years”

  1. Awww!! ?So glad you are doing good. I was a teen mom too my daughter is 8 . Congratulations on the new baby! Don’t ever feel guilty about having another baby . Enjoy mother hood in every way possible. She is beautiful .

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