I’m sorry, guys.
I can’t believe I let it hit one month before I did another blog post. I said I was going to be more consistent, right? I really want to pick up writing again, because I love sharing my happiness on my good days and it helps to let the feelings pour out on my bad days.
Well, as of right now, I am a little over 17 weeks along (the photo above is of my 16 week belly). I have yet to really feel the baby completely move. He seemed so active in the 13 week sonogram and I don’t remember “seeing” Callie move that much, but I definitely felt her. Oh well. He is healthy and has a strong little heartbeat going.
I think it’s amazing that now he can hear sounds and voices, including my heartbeat. Ahhh. I love him so much already, but we have yet to pick out a name. We have a few choices, but the ones that have stuck out to us the most are Phoenix, Asher and Levi (compliments of Callie, who is still very excited to be welcoming a little brother.) I think it’s going to be Phoenix Levi, but things could change!
As far as everything else goes, it has been a little rough for my uncertainty of the future drives me nuts. Last you really heard from me, I had just graduated college. Shortly after, real life set in and that included student loan debt. I don’t have more than the average student (around 35k), but 15,000 of that was from my one semester in New York and the rest is interest! See, at the time I wasn’t very savvy about all that stuff and I let it accrue, accrue, accrue. My point is that Justin and I have always jumped into moving in together and are used to doing things completely, backwards, so I felt the best decision was to move out. I ended up moving home to pay my debts and save some money. Little did I know I would end up getting pregnant with little man (whoopsies, backwards again) so we are a little bit in limbo about what we are going to do and it stresses me out. But, would I be Ashley if I didn’t stress out? Just kidding.
I know my last statement will incur some judgment. I have seen the comments throughout the Web and some of them hold truth, while others are straight cruel. Yes, we haven’t always made the best of choices, but what matters is what we are doing now to make sure we do things correctly. God has been ever so gracious as to bless us with a baby boy and by giving us a second chance to redeem ourselves, baby or not. We are actively working on ourselves, our relationship with the Lord and our relationship as one. The older I get, the more I realize that relationships are hard work and that you can’t jump up and leave when it does get challenging. As wrong and selfish as I am, I have realized that relationships will bring out sides of you that you never knew you had or that you thought you had overcome and stored away “forever.” It’s how you STOP, pray and handle the situation that will bring you closer to God and make you more like Him. A relationship can be the most rewarding part of your life, if you let it be. But like I said, I’m working on it and being patient with the other person is a must.
However, it is my lack of patience that kills me in all ways – with other people (relationships as described above) and with my future. I did rush into applying and accepting a new job and kind of missing my old one. Don’t get me wrong, I’m really excited, but it has made me realize that jumping into things or making hasty decisions has really added unneeded stress to my life. I just have to keep my faith that everything WILL work out. It always has. It always does. I still have my great days and I still have plenty of bad days, too, but I am learning and I am growing every day. : )
Anyway, here are some photos. Justin and I at the Blink-182 “Rock Show” and my 14 week belly.
I also started drinking Shakeology again. It’s amazing and really helped me get healthy, boost my metabolism and build some muscle back in the day. I went through a lot in 2015 (story for a different day), so I cancelled, but now, with doctor approval, I am back on it and so excited! Check out my BeachBody page here and let me know if you have any questions or are interested in ordering so I can get you a hefty discount! (They have a new maternity program that I’m psyched about, too ; ) )
Also, if you’re interested in my experience with MTV as well as a pregnancy/adoption through the eyes of a 17-year-old go ahead and order my book, Bittersweet Blessing as a hardcopy or Kindle version. I do hope to write another book one day as an adult for adults, but this would also be a great gift to give your young ones so they can take a glimpse into a teenage pregnancy told first-person.
Until next time…
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